


A God's Wife

by MysticMedusa



Series: Wife!Tony [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: BAMF Tony Stark, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 02:50:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13754691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticMedusa/pseuds/MysticMedusa
Summary: Turns out Tony's married and no one should ever piss him off





	A God's Wife

**Author's Note:**

> I mostly just wanted to write a ridiculous story. don't take this story seriously, there's a reason i tagged it as a crack story

 

Tony was trying to celebrate with Pepper but Coulson had to interrupt him. He didn’t accept what the agent was trying to hand him but Pepper being the traitor she was took it from the agent and handed it to him. He looked at the information and a single image stood out to him. He knew Coulson was still there but he was far too angry to bother trying to hide it.

“Oh hell no!” He snapped drawing both Pepper’s and Coulson’s attention.

He ignored them both and pulled out his phone and speed dialed a number in his phone. There was only a single ring before the person on the other end picked up. Before they could speak Tony was talking and letting every ounce of his rage pour into every word.

“I don’t give a shit what reason you have for not coming to see me first thing. You get your skinny pale godly ass to my tower this instant or so help me even Odin and all his guards won’t stop the hell I will unleash on all the nine realms to find you. My tower, now.”

He barely hung up as Loki appeared a few feet away from him. He looked panicked in a way only someone who had witnessed Tony’s rage would be.

“My love, I swear-”

Tony closed the distance between them and grabbed Loki to slam him into the floor in a show a strength that should be beyond the mortal. Loki groaned in pain as his eyes flashed from blue to green.

“Wife?”

Tony smiled but there was still a bit of anger lingering in his gaze.

“You want to explain why someone was making you ride shotgun to your own body? You disappear for years and leave me here all by myself. You know how needy I am, I demand cuddles and affection or so help me I will divorce your godly ass.”

“I fell into the void and Thanos took control of my mind. You hit me hard enough to remove his control.”

Tony crossed his arms over his chest not looking impressed.

“And how did you end up falling into the void?”

Loki sat up looking a bit sheepish.

“I may have let go of the bi-frost.”

Tony picked up the god of mischief and stormed over to the couch to deposit him there.

“Well get comfortable asshole because I don’t take you trying to leave me lightly. Now I suggest you stay there and keep quiet until my anger dies down.”

“But wife, it’s not-”

Tony picked up the couch and Loki with no effort and began moving towards the floor to ceiling windows.

“I said I’m still very angry, let’s hope you have enough strength to shape shift into something with wings.”

Loki clung to the couch in fear.

“I promise I’ll be quiet and let you calm down.”

Tony still considered throwing him and the couch out the window but decided against it. He put the couch down and looked over to where Pepper was grinning and Coulson looked a bit pale.

“So Agent, meet my husband. He’s a bit of an asshole but he’s adorable and I love him.”

Coulson recovered fairly quickly.

“Mr. Stark that is the alien that took several of our agents.”

Tony gave Loki an amused look.

“So you kidnapped some baby agents?”

Loki was smarter than most of Asgard so he remained silent. Tony approved.

“Will they be free of the control now that you are?”

He nodded quickly and still remained silent. Tony looked back at Coulson.

“So Agent, are we going to have an issue? You came here for me to deal with Loki and I have, he won’t act out again otherwise he’s going to find out my fiery is far more dangerous than a fire demon’s flame.”

Loki seemed to shrink back into the couch trying to hide from Tony’s obvious anger.

“Mr. Stark…why do I feel worse for Loki? This isn’t his first attack.”

“Why do you feel bad for him?” Tony asked confused but Pepper answered.

“You called him saying some very threatening things and then nearly knocked him out when he arrived.”

“He promised me I’d be the first person he saw whenever he came back to Midgard and he was under someone else’s control. I was just getting my husband back.”

“How long exactly have you two been married?”

“Babe?” Tony asked turning to Loki.

“Twenty years love.”

Coulson looked shocked.

“You’ve been married to an alien for twenty years and didn’t think to mention it?”

“Nope, it was my business and it’s not like you asked me if I was someone’s wife.”

“But you’re a man.” Coulson said slightly confused.

“So? Asgard is weird with their rules. Sure two men can get married but one has to take the role of wife. I figured why not, I’m pretty enough.”

Coulson looked at Pepper.

“You knew he was married to an alien?”

“I was aware. Look, if Shield wants to come after Loki for whatever reason they have they’re going to have to get through Tony first. They can either work with him or worst case scenario I can’t stop him from leaving the planet. You can have two allies or lose one.”

Coulson nodded looking a little concerned. He left shortly after seeing that Loki wasn’t plotting anymore world domination. Once he was gone Tony turned to Loki while Pepper quickly made her retreat as well.

“Husband, you’ve been gone for years. You and I are going to make up for lost time.”

Loki knew this could either be very good for him or very bad. Having Tony curl up in his lap to use him as a bed was nice. The god hadn’t rested well since even before he fell into the void. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man and proceeded to pass out.

 


End file.
